Knocked for a Loop on the Road

My roommate for Sky Blue F.C.’s trip to Chicago last weekend was Kiersten Dallstream. It’s always nice on away trips to room with someone new who you don’t know well. I feel really fortunate that there’s nobody on the team who I wouldn’t want to room with, so I can’t really go wrong. But I haven’t spent much time with Kiersten, so I was happy that we were paired together. It’s amazing how well you get to know your teammates, being on the road with them so much. I find that each time I sit next to someone on the plane, bus, or at a meal, I learn something new. A professional team is different from a youth club team or college team. Everyone is coming from a different background and are at varying points in their careers and lives. We have women who are just out of college, and some who are married and have children. There are players who have grown up in New Jersey, and some, like the Swede Jessica Landstrom, who had never been to the U.S. before. I’ve learned that Katie Schoepfer used to play the oboe, Rosana was a tae kwon do champion, and Heather O’Reilly and Karen Bardsley recently took up guitar as a hobby.

The trip to Chicago started off fairly typically. We had a good training session, ate dinner and had a team meeting. Then Kiersten and I watched TV and talked for a while before going to sleep early. Everything was going great until I woke up at 12:30 a.m. and felt a little bit nauseous. I thought if I just tried to go back to sleep it would pass. Wrong! I was up pretty much all night, vomiting, until 9 a.m. when I finally went to see our athletic trainer, Paul Kolody. By that time I could barely walk, felt absolutely terrible and was dehydrated. Writing this and reflecting on the experience can’t even begin to accurately relate the state I was in. Paul took me to the emergency room at the local hospital to get me an IV to replace some of my fluids.

When we got to the ER, I was so lightheaded and weak that I couldn’t stand while they checked me in. They had to get me a wheelchair. Two hours later I was still sitting in the waiting room with Paul, and I was feeling a lot better after taking a nap and drinking a couple of Gatorades. I thought, if I could just hurry up and get an IV then I’d feel good enough to possibly play that night. It was taking so long that we were about to just check out and leave, when they finally called my name. After getting two bags of fluid pumped into me, the hospital security guard drove me back to the hotel (Paul had gotten a taxi back earlier to go tape ankles and do other preparation for the game).

Now that I think back on how I felt at the time, it’s pretty comical that I was still planning to play. I got back to the hotel about five minutes after the team had left for the stadium. I felt better, but still weak, and my stomach was uneasy. By the time I was back in my room I had ruled out playing, and thought that I would lay down for a few minutes then get a taxi to the stadium to go watch the game. I woke up two hours later, just before halftime. So much for that plan!

I watched the game on Web site’s MatchTracker (which, for those of you who have never tried it, is an excruciating experience). I stared at the screen, waiting for any information to pop up. It was a terrible feeling not to be able to play, and especially not to even be at the game to watch and support the team. Finally, in the second half, MatchTracker informed me that Tasha Kai had scored for us. I watched the minutes tick away, laying helplessly in bed, hoping that we could hold off Chicago until the end. Finally the game was over … relief! I sent a mass text congratulating the team on our victory (it was pretty much all I could do to contribute).

I eventually began to doze off at a little before 9 p.m. and all I could think was, ‘I hope this never happens again!’ It was a terrible feeling to be so helpless. Not only was I physically incapacitated, but I felt that I had let my team down by not being able to be there. I realize that in the long run, it’s only one game that I missed and I am fortunate that it was not something more serious. I couldn’t help but hate the feeling of being unreliable in that moment. I pride myself on being a reliable person and player, and in this circumstance, my team couldn’t count on me. I know that none of my teammates were upset or felt that way. After all, as they told me later, my face that morning was literally green I looked so sick. They all knocked on my door when they got back to check on me and were only concerned with me getting healthy, which I appreciated. It was still an awful feeling nonetheless.

On a brighter note, I will be back on the field on Saturday, entertaining Marta and F.C. Gold Pride at Yurcak Field in Piscataway, N.J. I’m feeling a lot better, why don’t you come and see for yourself!?

A Loss, a Journal Entry and Some Random Thoughts

I was in the San Francisco airport last weekend waiting to take our red-eye flight back to the East Coast after our first Sky Blue F.C. road trip of the season. I was sitting on the floor while Carli [Lloyd] and Tash [Kai] tried to secretly take photos of an interesting character at the gate across from ours. The highlight of his attire was definitely the mining-style hard hat with a head-lamp. Not quite sure why he would need that on the plane but I guess if the power had gone out in the airport the joke would have been on us. This entry is going to be a bit different — to mix things up a bit, I decided to make a list (I love lists!) of my favorite “most recents.”

Sky Blue F.C. Game We played F.C. Gold Pride and lost, 3-1. The first half they came out hard and put us under a lot of pressure. It was their home opener and they had the better of the play for the first 45 minutes. At halftime we were down by 1-0. In the second half I think we really stepped it up. We tied the game, but unfortunately couldn’t hold. I was happy to play 90 minutes and I think that my performances continue to improve, which is important over a long season. I feel so much better this year than I did last year at this point in the season, so that is encouraging. We were disappointed with the result, but it is so early in the season and I think our team is yet to click. Rosana said something important in our team huddle after the game, “Sometimes you have to lose to win.” It’s true. In the long run, this loss was not a bad thing. Now we are focused and intent on improving so we can get the better of Chicago, when we travel to play them next weekend.

From My Journal

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much or suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Meaningless Thought. Each other should be one word! I always type it that way and then have to change it when the little red squiggly line comes up underneath it.

Meaningful (or at Least in My Opinion) Thought. This is somewhat related to the Roosevelt quotation, but I’ve been thinking a lot lately about fears and things that hold us back from being who we dream of being.

I think that this new train of thought arose when I started to really tweak my diet, hydration and recovery thanks to Dawn Scott’s suggestions. I’ve always worked as hard as possible, but this is an area that I’ve really fine tuned lately, and it led me to realize that I truly do everything possible to be my best. Whether it’s physically, mentally or emotionally, I give everything I have to fútbol. I believe that this is the best way to go about any goal — to decide what you want and then fight for it, devoting everything you can to the process. But sometimes it is a scary feeling to know that you’re holding nothing back. I used to often say, “What if I do everything possible and that still is not good enough or I still am not able to be the player I dream of being?” The thing is, there’s no way to know that unless you try. And it is impossible to feel any regret if you’ve done the best you can.

Song Played on My iTunes. “God of Wine” by Third Eye Blind

Sky Blue F.C. New Tradition. Before each away game, we all put $5 into the pot and then select a name of a teammate at random. Whomever’s selection scores our first goal that game gets all the money. This week’s winner was Katie Schoepfer. She drew Laura Kalmari’s name and Laura scored our goal against F.C. Gold Pride. I had picked Carli and I told her that if we were around the box I would only pass to her. Now that I think of it, she did have one run in behind the back line where I tried to slip her a ball through, but we didn’t quite connect.

Addition to My To-Do List. Buy smoothie ingredients. I recently bought the Magic Bullet blender, so I’m going to start making smoothies for after training. I need to stock up on some frozen fruit and maybe protein powder.

O.K., back to the regular format.

It was really nice to see my sister, Shira, last weekend. She plays for Stanford, so she got to go to the game and hang out afterward, and the next day. I know that I’ve mentioned Shira before, but every time I see her it reminds me again why she is my best friend and my biggest supporter. There is no way I could do what I do without her as a friend and training partner. Although we are different, we basically look like twins.

Apparently, when we were watching the game, a concerned fan came up to her and said: “Yael, why are you not out there? Are you injured?!” These kinds of things a lot happen to Shira. I’m pretty sure she’s also signed a few autographs as me in the past.

At Yurcak Field, in the Same Place at a Different Time

PISCATAWAY, N.J. — I forgot how much fun it is to play at Yurcak Field in front of a home crowd! As I drove up the gravel driveway and into the parking lot for Sky Blue F.C.’s home opener last Sunday, I had this eerie feeling that no time had passed and we were picking up right where we had left off at the end of last summer. I walked into the familiar locker room, the uniforms hung in their usual places and sat in the same seat I had last year. But as much as it was all so much the same, it was also different.

None of the players who had sat alongside me on the far side bench are still on the team. I went to take my jersey off its hanger and I took the No. 13, rather than No. 10. I looked one more time at the lineup, and felt proud to see my name — quite a different start from last year’s home opener when I didn’t see the field. Despite these obvious differences, there was also an intangible change in atmosphere. There is a confidence about our team this year. It comes from a combination of factors. In part, it is that we are defending W.P.S. champions, but more that we know we are well prepared and each of us understands, and is capable of, our individual role. Nonetheless, I couldn’t help but feel a little bit of the tension from the previous season — the pressure of constant sub-par performances, both individual and collective.

But all it took was for Rosana to play our team’s ritual Brazilian song, and all the good, funny memories rushed back. Even as I write, I realize how scattered my thoughts were at the time. As I fought back some unpleasant memories and tried to move forward to a fresh start, it was a sentimental moment playing again in our home stadium.

I lay on the locker room floor for a few minutes, with my legs elevated on the wall. Hanging above me was a poster titled, “Moments.” It’s funny how sometimes you see or hear only what you need and the timing couldn’t be better. I’ve read this quotation more than once, and even have the same poster at home, but it wasn’t until reading it then in the locker room that it really hit home for me. It’s much longer than this, but here’s the gist of it:

“In every game there are moments that define us. The moment the ball is in front of you. The moment it goes by you — the moment it hovers in front of the goal. … How do these moments define you? … The time is today, the opportunity is now, the moment is yours. Take it. …”

– Trevor Moawad

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the excitement of the day, the pressure looming from last year, the family and friends in the crowd, TV cameras, coaches — but the quotation on this poster made complete sense and reminded me of the importance of being here, now.

In every aspect of life it’s so easy to get caught up in past emotions or future worries, but I’ve become a lot more aware and appreciative of the instants that ground me, and bring me fully into the present. This was one of those moments. It freed me to enjoy what was going on simply for what it was — music and hanging out in the locker room, a warm-up that we’ve done many times, listening to the national anthem and feeling thankful, noticing an interesting cloud and the pretty color of the sky, playing the game I love under the lights in front of a home crowd — ,and nothing more than that.

We went up, 1-0, against the Chicago Red Stars in the sixth minute of the game, thanks to a great finish from Tasha Kai. That took some of the pressure off of us, but we made the mistake of sitting back a little too much after that, so our team’s rhythm and possession struggled a bit. We were able to hold off the Red Stars for the rest of the game, though, and it was a great feeling to start the season with a win. It took us several games last year to get three points! I played 65 minutes at center mid, and although I was disappointed to come off, I know that it’s a long season. Last season my confidence struggled, so this game was very important for me to feel that I can be effective and make things happen. I did have that feeling at points, so it’s a good starting point for me.

We leave Thursday morning for California to play the Bay Area Gold Pride. My sister, Shira, goes to Stanford, so I’m excited that she’ll be able to come to the game. More after the trip.

Dream Realized, Now It's Time to Wake Up

I can distinctly remember going to watch the U.S. women’s national team train in preparation for the opening game of the 1999 Women’s World Cup.

I was only 12, but I have a vivid image of driving to the Pingry School field with my parents and sister and watching the practice. We stood behind the goal, close enough to clearly see the players and what they were doing, but still far enough so that we were unnoticed and not interfering. I was shy, and the last thing I wanted were for my idols to see me spying on their training session. I know the exact shooting drill that they did. After all, I went out and replicated it with my dad later that afternoon. One of the highlights of the experience was when a few stray balls came our way and we got to kick them back to the players. Of course, I wanted them to notice my technique and that I was more than a mere groupie. I ran to collect a ball that Kristine Lilly had shot and kicked it back to her. She obviously could recognize from my return pass that I was on track to be “one of them” in the near future … or so I thought.

This past week, Lil came on for me in our game against Mexico in San Diego. It was my seventh cap and her 343rd. As I ran to the halfway line to give her a hug as she subbed in for me, I couldn’t help but see her through those 12-year-old’s eyes for just a second. Although I wasn’t happy about coming out of the game, I was honored to be replaced by such a fútbol legend.

Going straight from preseason in Florida with Sky Blue F.C. to San Diego and then Salt Lake City with the national team for two games against Mexico has been a grueling adventure. I found myself mentally and physically tired in ways that I don’t think I ever have been before. This month on the road has been filled with highs and lows in performance, ups and downs in confidence and several new revelations about fútbol and what it means to be a professional.

My thoughts at the moment can be best summarized two ways:

¶Balancing the highs and lows: I know that I’ve written about this before, but it continues to reappear and challenge me. It is always surprising to talk to players who I assume have arrived and that I’m confident. There is no such thing!

No one ever reaches smooth sailing for good. Every player, no matter how talented, experienced, or established goes through the same struggles. It’s an interesting dynamic when you train, day in and day out, among and against players who are all skilled at what they do. Ebbs and flows in confidence are so noticeable.

I find that the true challenge is to continue to improve when you’re frustrated and not at your best, and to learn from and enjoy the times when you feel like you’re on top of the world. It’s so important not to get too high or too low emotionally, because none of it is permanent. The only thing that should be steady is improvement, so that’s what I try to focus on. Not easy!

¶You must be patient, yet it is beneficial to be impatient. This is a clear contradiction, but I’ll explain. I met with Pia [national team coach Pia Sundhage] in San Diego, and she pointed out to me the importance of patience in this process.

I’m still a fairly young player and it takes a long time to gain the experience necessary to be truly effective and consistent at this level. The aspects of my game that I strive to improve will take a lot of time to master. I try to keep everything in perspective and be patient with the process.

I think a quality that is very important to my, however, success is my impatience. That I am never satisfied drives me to work hard. As much as I understand that things take time, it absolutely kills me to not be the best at every single thing we do.

I know that I am not one of the fastest players, but when I see the list of our test results for 40 meter speed in Sky Blue F.C. preseason, I am angry that I’m not at the top. I know that I shouldn’t expect to be a starter on the national team right now, but I am disappointed with myself when I’m not or when I don’t play 90 minutes. I know that a lot of players are better in the air than me, but I am discouraged when I’m not a target on set pieces. These things may sound silly, but that’s how I think.

I guess the key to this all is balance. Being a professional athlete, or striving to be consistently excellent at anything in life, is about balancing the highs and lows, the patience and impatience, and of course having fun along the way. I soon head back home to New Jersey, have a few days off, then resume preparation for our home opener with Sky Blue F.C.

The journey continues.

With Sky Blue F.C., in Florida

Hello from Sky Blue F.C. preseason training in Tallahassee, Fla! Pauliina [Coach Pauliina Miettinen] asked for us all to take one of our favorite quotes to be part of our personal player cards this season. I have journals full of quotes that I like, but I chose a shorter one that gets straight to the point: “Do what you love. Love what you do.” It seems so obvious, but I find that few people actually embody this. In January, a few Sky Blue F.C. players were featured on a panel at the N.J. Youth Soccer Expo. Gerry Marrone (the team’s general manager), in his introductory talk said, “How many of you can genuinely say that you wholeheartedly love your job?” Out of my peripheral vision, I saw a hand immediately shoot up. It was Pauliina.

I’ve had many excellent coaches, but I can say with complete assurance that none has been as enthusiastic about their job as Pauliina. She is devoted to developing every aspect of the team. So much so that we can barely find enough time to sleep. Since the day I arrived at the team hotel in New Jersey to begin training, I can distinctly remember every free moment I’ve had (there have been precious few).

One of those moments was the evening before our first official team training and fitness test. I went out in the parking lot with my ball and iPod to dribble around and juggle — just to loosen up my legs. I was completely absorbed in what I was doing, when I saw someone running toward me, calling for the ball. I looked up and played a pass to Jessica Landstrom, our new Swedish forward, who was out for a light jog with Daphne Koster (a center back from the Netherlands) and Laura Kalmari (a midfielder/forward from Finland, and my current roommate in Florida). The four of us ended up kicking around in the parking lot and talking for a while. What a great introduction to “the internationals” (the team’s label for our new European players before we got to know each of them).

A friend and former coach recently wrote to me asking about the preseason. He was curious about Pauliina.

“Is she technical or tactical or motivating?” he said.

As I replied, in the 10 free minutes I had in between showering after training and heading to a team meeting, I struggled with that one for a few seconds before explaining that she is all of the above. Every team in the W.P.S. has talent. But I have to believe that you’d be hard-pressed to find a group that is more thoroughly prepared by opening day than we are certain to be. We’ve met in depth about defensive strategies, attacking principles and analyzed film of our scrimmages; we’ve trained twice a day most days, doing drills that range from possession, to 1 v. 1s, to small-sided games, to speed and strength training, to finishing, to fitness; we’ve talked with the sports psychologist Tiffany Jones, done team building activities and even scaled a 12 foot wall as a group. And this was all within the first week and a half of preseason.

On Thursday, after training, lifting weights and having a team meeting, we changed quickly and headed off to race go-karts. As we drove the 45 minutes to the facility, Pauliina was definitely the most excited person — and the most competitive. I was picturing some sort of arcade-type place with a kiddie go-kart track out back. As we turned off the highway and onto smaller roads, (and my cell phone lost service) I soon realized that my preconception was pretty far off.

We arrived at the 1.1 mile track, out in some random, isolated grass pasture, with only the two guys who worked there waiting to welcome us. This place was intense. We had to wear full motorcycle-style helmets, neck braces, gloves and jackets (some of which had mysterious tears and burn marks). The go-karts we drove went up to 45 M.P.H. and we raced in groups of 10. Each race was 10 laps of the track. Daphne Koster seems to have been the team champ. Honorable mentions go to Natasha Kai (Tash) and Rick Stainton (our goalkeeper coach). Pauliina was pretty impressive, too. It was fun, but honestly a little too intense even for me. After dinner, we finally got back to the hotel with enough time to relax for a few minutes before bed. I’ve learned to treasure any free time, because we’ve been constantly on the go, making use of every possible hour to do some sort of team activity.

It’s time for me to get some sleep. We had two training sessions on Friday and then a game against Boston on Saturday. A couple things to leave you with before I go:

¶We beat Florida State University in a scrimmage, 5-0, and it was a very good starting point for our team. I think that we still have a lot of room for improvement, but it was important to get to know each other a little better on the field and be able to score some goals.

¶As a Barcelona fan, I have just 3 words: Is Messi human?

¶My sister, Shira, who plays at Stanford, shared with me something touching that she wrote after training on her own the other day, which I have written in my journal. I hope she does not mind that I’m sharing this: “I’m proud of myself … for every second I’m out here and for every second they’re not. For every second I’m laughing or crying or feeling great or feeling crappy. For every second I’m loving this sport and for the seconds I’m not. I will always be proud of myself. Because this is who I am. I work, I play, I laugh, I love, I bring joy and happiness and spirit. That’s why I’m proud.” I thought that was beautiful and very true to me as well, and that is one of many reasons why Shira is my best friend!

¶Follow me on Twitter! yael_skybluefc (as much as I claimed that I would never get into Twitter, I’ve gone back on my word).

My Last Letter From Portugal: U.S. Women Win Algarve Cup

FARO, Portugal — We’re Algarve Cup champions! Germany had dominated Finland, Denmark and China in their previous three games, but today we outplayed them to a satisfying 3-2 win. We were excited to have a game in the big stadium … finally a good field where we didn’t have to worry about balls dying in puddles, or sliding an extra five yards after every sliding tackle. Little did we know, this was the worst field we saw all tournament!

I didn’t get into the game, but I wasn’t really expecting to, especially because the team looked energetic and sharp on Wednesday. After having warmed up on the terrible surface, I was so impressed watching how well every one of our players played and how much energy they brought to the game. It may sound cheesy or clichéd, but I was genuinely honored to be part of the group who, in our fourth game in such a short period, maintained such great discipline and was so relentless. We thoroughly dominated an extremely talented German team.

Obviously I would have loved to have played, but often there is a lot to be learned from observing. The field did make things difficult, but watching today was a real indication to me of what makes our women’s national team so unique and successful. In the past (as Coach Pia Sundhage has pointed out, having played for Sweden against the U.S.), we would dominate by going forward quickly and constantly until we simply broke the opponent down, both mentally and physically. The women’s game in general has changed a lot since then and Pia emphasizes a much more possession-oriented style. The challenge now is to keep the ball and attack with flair and creativity while still maintaining what makes us special — that grit and all-out attacking style. On Wednesday, I saw elements of both.

What better way to end my first Algarve Cup trip than by going to get crepes! I had one with ice cream, strawberries, bananas and chocolate sauce on it — amazing. A crepe that good won’t be easy to find back home. A few other things that I’ll miss about Portugal: my roomie Lori, the great salad bar set up at our meals, waking up every morning and being able to see the ocean (can’t do that where I live in New Jersey), fútbol games always on TV, the vertical jump test at 7:45 a.m., Chuck Norris, chocolate truffles left on my pillow, trying to send a message on Skype after practice when everyone is on the Internet and it saying “pending” for 20 minutes, Bananagrams with my teammates … well, maybe I won’t miss a couple of those, but it has been a great trip.

Now I’m looking forward to getting home and starting preseason with Sky Blue F.C. We have a couple days off and then we join the team for training before we leave for Florida. I’ve tried not to think too much about the coming season during this trip because it was important for me to be mentally present in order to learn as much as possible from the experience. But now I’m excited to get home and move onto this new phase of training.

On Tuesday, I jotted down a few notes in our team meeting. At the top of my paper it says, “TWO MORE STEPS.” This was something that Pia had written on the dry erase board. It means that in the attack we want to make each run just two steps longer. When defending, we want to close that space just two steps more so we can tackle. But the philosophy behind it is to just do that little bit more. We can all give a little more to make ourselves better and to invest in the team’s success. After writing “TWO MORE STEPS,” I listed some of the things that I want to focus on moving forward into this W.P.S. season. I can’t wait to get home and continue working on those things!

Reflecting on a U.S. Win in Portugal

On Monday, we beat Sweden, 2-0, thanks to two beautiful second half goals from [Lauren] Cheney. I started and played the first half, which looked nowhere near as good as the second. It was a tough first 45, and there are things that I know I could have done better. Playing at this level exposes a new set of mental challenges, which is part of what I’m adjusting to, as well as the level of play. It’s so easy to get swept up in the highs and lows of the experience: the thrill of starting, but then a slightly disappointing performance … a great practice, then a not-so-good one … positive feedback from the coaches, then some criticism/critique. I’ve been working hard on staying even-keeled throughout the process, because in the long run everyone will have their ups and downs. But it is important to not get so confident that you become complacent, and not so critical that you become discouraged.  

I’ve worked on changing other aspects of my mind-set as well. I’m so competitive, that sometimes it can have a negative effect. As much as I am always striving to be better and earn a spot, I’ve learned that at times it is healthier to simply try to be the best possible me. I used to get upset when someone on my team would “outplay” me, but now it makes me happy. I want to be a part of this team, and I want to start, but I want to earn that and be playing among the best possible players. So when someone does something nice or has a great performance, I couldn’t be happier for them. And instead of feeling inadequate because I was not able to do the same thing, I think, “wow, I am so lucky to be able to play with her.” This isn’t easy to do sometimes, but I am conscious of trying to maintain that attitude. I want to be a mainstay in this group eventually. And when that time comes, I want us to be hands down the best team in the world.

Sweden had some impressive players today. I’m glad that one of them, Jessica Landstrom, is my new teammate on Sky Blue F.C. After the game, Heather [O'Reilly], Carli [Lloyd], Schnur [Meghan] and I waited while she cooled down to go introduce ourselves. It was slightly awkward, because we had just beaten them, and we could tell that she wasn’t happy about the result. But she was friendly and gracious, and we’re looking forward to playing with her soon, rather than against her.

There were a lot of American fans today! The four, U17 regional teams are in Portugal to play some games, so they came to cheer us on. Heather and I talked to the Region I girls afterward and it brought back some good and not-so-good memories of my journey through the O.D.P. process. Heather said a few words to them about recognizing and embracing what makes you special as a player. Then I added a thought about appreciating the little moments. As much as these themes may sound like big clichés, I think they’re so important and constantly need to be reinforced (for me just as much as the U17 girls we spoke to).

Tuesday we have a recovery session, then we play Germany on Wednesday. Time for me to turn off my fútbol mind for a little bit … I could think about it and reflect on it all night. It’s healthy for me to have some distractions, though. Banagrams, here I come!

At the Algarve Cup, It's All About the Jersey

ALBUFEIRA, Portugal — I just returned to my room from an evening ocean adventure with Heather O’Reilly (a k a Hao). After our 2-0 win over Iceland to open the Algarve Cup, we returned to the hotel and went in the pool to help regenerate our muscles. Hao and I decided that we wanted to head down to the ocean on a little expedition … the water would be colder and the waves are almost like a massage on tired muscles. After overcoming our fear of the dark and rocky water, having a joking-yet-serious discussion regarding who would be first to notice if we went missing (we both thought our roommates — Lauren Cheney and Lori Lindsey), and the disappearance and recovery of all four of our flip =flops, we made our way back up to the hotel, shivering but satisfied that our expedition had been a success.

Hours before, as I stood in the tunnel, about to walk out onto the field with the other starters for the game, I made a silent promise to myself — that I would never take for granted putting on the national team jersey and stepping on the field to represent my country. It is really important to me to always appreciate the little things. I love seeing my last name on the jersey that is set out as we enter the locker room. I love the way it feels on my back, and how nice the game socks are. I love the song that FIFA plays as the players walk out, and even when I go to watch games, it gives me the chills.

On a different note, I did something today that I vowed I would never do … I wore pre-wrap in my hair (as a headband). I always considered this really girly, and just not me. I’m actually kind of ashamed that I went back on my declaration, but it was a necessity. I actually couldn’t see because, with the slight wind and my hair being out of control, all the pieces kept flying in my eyes. So I justified my decision as my only option, and essential to my performance. (I feel a lot better now that I confessed this detail.) Now, back to the game.

Iceland was awarded two penalty kicks — one early and one late in the game — both of which goalkeeper Hope Solo saved. We joked about it after because we actually all celebrated more after Hope’s second PK save than we did after our two goals.

I played 60 minutes at left mid. I’ve played there a few times before, including in our game against Germany last November, but it’s still somewhat new for me. I’m usually a center mid, and that’s where I feel most comfortable, but I will gladly play anywhere for this team, and being on the outside is fun and different. My Sky Blue F.C. teammate, Meghan Schnur played left back behind me and got her first cap on Wednesday! She played great and made it easy for me, and also set up our first goal (which was recorded as an own goal, but I credit it to Schnur).

As part of the trainer Dawn Scott revolution, we now wear global positioning system devices for training and games. We have to wear these sports bra-type vests, and the G.P.S. unit goes in the back, making us all look like we have some strange spinal deformation. It will be interesting feedback to assess and possibly improve our individual and team movement.

The other day after practice, Dawn knocked on Abby [Wambach’]s door and in her lovely English accent politely said, “Abby, do you still have your G.P.S.?” Abby realized that she had accidentally worn it in the van going back to the hotel and handed itto Dawn, who said, “you certainly will have set some sort of record, having run at 60 m.p.h. for nearly 15 minutes!” Although none of us will be able to beat Abby’s performance on that one, I’m looking forward to seeing my data.

O.K, time for some sleep. We have training tomorrow and then play against Norway on Friday!

One last thing … I’ve really been wondering if there’s less toilet paper on the rolls in Portugal or if our hydration has been making us go through them faster … after some evaluation, Lori and I have agreed that it’s most likely a combination of the two.

Until next time.

In Europe. Lying in Bed. Soccer on TV. A Game in the Mud. Life Is Good.

ALBUFEIRA, Portugal — I love how there’s always fútbol on TV in Europe! It’s Sunday and Porto is beating Braga, 3-0. [The final score was 5-1.] I’m lying in bed in my compression/recovery tights, as is typical of any time I’m not at training or at a meal. A group of us just finished playing Bananagrams (a word game similar to Scrabble, where each player selects 21 letters and has to use them all to create connected words). I think it’s safe to say that Nicole Barnhart (we call her Barney) is the reigning champ. She won every game until she retired early this evening and let the rest of us have a shot at victory. Barney is also the team crossword expert, so her Bananagram success was not unexpected.

I have a massage in about 20 minutes, which I’m really looking forward to. Today we had a closed door scrimmage against China and tied, 1-1. The field was already in questionable condition and last night it rained steadily for hours. Still, when we got there, I think we were all a little shocked as we stepped across the line and into the giant puddle (one of several strewn across the field). Throughout the course of the game it only got worse, and as the final whistle blew, it was hard to imagine that the mud pit we were standing in had once been green. That said, and considering the difficult conditions, I think we had some good moments. (Side note: Porto just scored AGAIN!)

I had a lot of fun playing, despite what Meghan Schnur pointed out after we had cooled down, “If you decided to go one direction, you were pretty much committed to it, because there was no changing it or going back!” The impossibility of changing direction and the fact that nearly 50 percent of our passes were slowed down or stopped dead by the puddles didn’t change our team’s attitude and commitment to prepare well for the beginning of the tournament. That always impresses me about being with this group — no one ever complains or makes excuses. Yes, there were moments when we laughed about it, but everyone was focused on doing their absolute best.

On Monday we have to be up at 8 a.m. for our morning assessment with Dawn. A vertical jump test has now been added to the repertory. We did a baseline test during strength training the other day, so now we do a few jumps every morning to measure fatigue. It’s slightly comical to try to step out of bed, only having brushed our teeth and peed in a cup, and try to do a max effort vertical jump. Next thing you know we’ll have to run the beep test up and down the hotel hallway every morning!

The Algarve Cup starts for us against Iceland on Wednesday.

Wheels Down in Portugal

Hello from Albufeira, Portugal! After landing in Lisbon on Saturday morning, we took a three-hour bus ride to the hotel. I remember about 15 minutes of the ride before it was impossible to keep my eyes open any longer. It was hard to wake up myself enough to even get off the bus and venture into the hotel lobby, but as I walked through the doors of the resort/spa where we’re staying, I was already amazed. It was not so much the resort that I was in awe of — although it is very nice — but the absolutely beautiful view of the ocean.

Lori Lindsey (my roommate) and I unfortunately do not have a room facing out onto the water, but every time we go to pick up our training gear from the equipment room across the hallway, we stop to look out. It’s been raining off and on, and as we heading out to training yesterday, some people mentioned the “cold” weather. I laughed with Jill Loyden, because compared to New Jersey, we were excited to be training in the warmth.

Today began with our routine (as of last camp) urine test to check our hydration levels. Every morning we have to report to Dawn Scott before breakfast, cup of stuff in hand, so she can test our urine and we can fill out an assessment of how we’re feeling. We record our weight, heart rate and how we feel physically and emotionally, in addition to what types of recovery (proper cool down, stretching, ice bath, massage, foam rolling, etc.) we did the day before.

Various strategies have been discussed among the team on how to do well on the urine test. Some claim that if they chug a bottle of water right before bed, they’ll be hydrated in the morning. Originally, I wasn’t part of this group of “cheaters,” and thought that if I just drank enough during the day I’d be fine. It seems, however, that after some experimentation, they may be right. Obviously we all know that it’s best to hydrate consistently throughout the day, but for scoring well on Dawn’s test, the chug before bedtime is a must.

This morning, half the group did strength training with Dawn, while the other half trained at the field, and then we switched. Nine serious athletes doing strength training and plyos in a spa fitness room is quite an amusing scene. I don’t think the woman working at the reception area of the spa was too happy about it. We just finished lunch and have some time to relax before our second session today. Seeing as my eyes are slowly closing as I write this, I think it’s time for my nap. More to follow. … We have a closed door scrimmage against China on Sunday.

Meeting the Treadmill Challenge

On Tuesday I had my first experience with a treadmill. In preparation for Portugal, our new conditioning coach, Dawn Scott, sent us a training program. The first day’s task was to complete what is called the “progressive treadmill test.” Basically, you start at a run (7.2 miles per hour) and then increase the speed (by 0.6) every 30 seconds. If you get to the fastest speed on the treadmill, then you start increasing the incline every 30 seconds. You run until you can’t run anymore. Pretty intense. Now keep in mind, I literally have never run on a treadmill and don’t even have a regular membership to a gym.

So here I am at the local Y.M.C.A., sprinting at the fastest speed on the treadmill, sweat pouring down my face, straining to maintain my pace, while the walkers and joggers next to me are probably thinking, “this girl is insane!” The test lasts roughly five minutes, so my embarrassment was short-lived, but I was glad when I could leave the treadmill room and get away from all the awkward stares. I was feeling pretty decent about my effort until I texted Heather O’Reilly and found out that she did better than me by about 45 seconds (we’re not competitive or anything). She did have a slight advantage in the fact that she knew my score before she started the test, so I’m going to use that as a bit of an excuse to boost my morale.

After this new and interesting running experience, I returned to the comfort of my usual training environment — the racketball court. This small, white, enclosed area has become an essential part of my training over the years, especially during New Jersey winters. All I need is a ball and my iPod and I can entertain myself in there for hours. As much as I’d love to be able to train in the sunshine on pristine grass fields, I really enjoy having to find new and interesting ways to train and play during the winter. I’ve kicked around in parking garages, school blacktops, parking lots, even the 8-by-6 foot free area of my basement.

During this preparation time before we leave for Portugal, Dawn also has us filling out a detailed food diary for a week. We have to record everything we eat or drink in detail, the time we ingested it, and the amount. Although it can be a pain to have to write down everything I eat (I LOVE food, so my list is very long most days), it’s interesting to analyze my food choices. I am very conscientious about what I put into my body, but I’m sure that Dawn will find some ways to tweak my diet to make it even better and improve my performance and recovery.

O.K., time to go train! I’m down at U.N.C. for a few days (I am getting my jersey retired at the U.N.C. vs. Duke bball game) so I’m hoping the weather is a little bit more mild and I can go outside.

My Bags Are Packed for Portugal

I’m almost done packing and ready to head off to Portugal! For me, packing involves arranging my two outfits, cleats and toiletries into the smallest bag possible. I like to not have to check a bag, and I think traveling is a lot more enjoyable when I’m not lugging around a ton of stuff. Also, I’m always striving to pack the lightest (again, I’m really not competitive at all!). Unfortunately, Casey Nogueira has outdone me on the last few trips, taking only a backpack. I’m not prepared to travel that sparsely, but I’m pretty proud of my one small bag.

Some things on my “must pack” list: “F.C. Barcelona’s Road to Rome” DVDs (which includes the 2009 Champions League final), my iPod, journal, reading material (I borrowed “The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership” by John C. Maxwell from my Sky Blue F.C. coach, Pauliina), my “Learning Brazilian Portuguese” book and CD (I have to get ready for the upcoming season and the return of my Brazilian buddy, Rosana), gushers, adapter, my food diary that I kept for a week to go over with our conditioning coach, and my passport (not as important as the Barca DVDs, but I figured it would be helpful).

I’m looking forward to my first Algarve Cup, and although I always get that momentary feeling of questioning, “Am I fully prepared?” I know that I’ve done all that I could to be ready. Despite the fact that my official trip goals are hidden within the privacy of my journal, my focus is to enjoy every moment and learn as much as possible. More to come from Portugal.

Averbuch: Pia's Valuable Message and Uncommon Delivery

As I was just foam rolling and stretching in my living room at home in New Jersey, the song “You Can Get It if You Really Want,” by Jimmy Cliff, came up on iTunes. I downloaded it on the second day of the past national team training camp for a specific reason. On the first day of camp, we ran the beep test and then scrimmaged in cold, windy, rainy weather. Although I did have fun playing in the rain, it was pretty miserable. Pia [Coach Pia Sundhage] ended practice because the rain was getting worse. She told us to use the jog back to the locker room as our cool down and that we should wait to shower because she was going to come talk to us.

As we stood there soaking wet and shivering, Pia strolled in, her rain gear swooshing and dripping, with a huge grin on her face. She then started to sing the Jimmy Cliff song. (Pia has a good voice and loves to sing to us, occasionally with guitar accompaniment).

“You can get it if you really want. “You can get it if you really want. “You can get it if you really want. “But you must try, try and try, try and try … you’ll succeed at last.”

As I suppressed a laugh, it dawned on me that her message was valuable, despite the uncommon and amusing delivery.

Pia is different from any coach, or person, I’ve met. And in my brief time spent with the team she has already had a great impact on me. The whole time I’ve worked with Pia, I can count on one hand the instances in which I’ve heard her be critical or get mad at a player. She is overwhelmingly positive. And it is a planned positivity — to bring out the best in her players and to create a culture within the team where the good things are reinforced. She feels (and correctly so) that a lot of times we are too hard on ourselves and focus too much on the negatives of our performance. After all, fútbol is a game of mistakes. It is impossible to play and not make mistakes. But by pointing out the times when things are done well, the team will continue to do those things more consistently.

Pia’s positive approach is so apparent that at times players have asked her to be more critical. “But what if I’m motivated by someone getting on my case when I mess up?” Abby Wambach said in a team meeting. Pia’s response, “Then you’ll have to find somebody else to do that.”

Pia loves her job so much that her joy is contagious. And she emphasizes that to be excellent (as a team or an individual), you must do things differently. If everyone takes the same approach, then everyone will be the same. The ones who take a unique approach to preparation will be different and have something exceptional to offer.

This particularly rings true to me, because I have always done things my own way.

At times I’ve been criticized for taking a different path, or people have questioned me about whether what I was doing was in fact helpful, or detrimental.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea for an 11-year-old to be playing soccer every single day?” “Should she really be playing on an all boys’ team?” “Why are you not playing for your high school team?” “Is U.N.C. really the right choice for you with your style of play?” “Is it the right decision not to go to the W.P.S. combine?”

It can be scary at times to do things differently … and I often question myself. When you follow others it’s easy to justify the results, or at least to place blame if necessary. If you do things YOUR way, then you only have yourself as backup, and the responsibility lies completely with you.

Pia has helped to give me the courage to continue to trust my instincts and to keep doing things MY way.

Averbuch: I'm Going to Portugal With U.S. Women's National Team

I remember being in preseason with Sky Blue F.C. one year ago when the national team players came back from the Algarve Cup. Since I was 9 it has been my dream to play for the national team, but last March it didn’t seem to be close on my horizon, and I was nervous when my new teammates flew in from Portugal to join us. Heather O’Reilly, Natasha Kai, Christie Rampone and Kacey White seemed to be coming from another world, another level of fútbol (I prefer “fútbol” over soccer) that I was not privy to.

That feeling was on my mind as I sat in the locker room at the Home Depot Center a few days ago when Pia read us the roster. Luckily, my last name starts with an A, so I didn’t have to wait long to find out that I had been picked. To be honest, I had no idea if I was going to make it or not, which is strange because usually, as a player, you have a gut feeling either way.

Pia isn’t the type to have organized individual meetings each camp. If she has something to talk to you about, she’ll pull you aside in the hallway or keep you after a meal to chat, and you are always welcome to take the initiative and ask her for feedback, but it is certainly not mandatory. During the 20 days of this past training camp, my confidence experienced some ups and downs, but I decided not to go meet with Pia to ask for advice or assistance in helping to boost it. I took it as a challenge to do it on my own. I know what I need to do to be successful on the field, so it was just about getting back to the basics and doing the simple things consistently (easier said than done at times!).

It’s funny, because when I met with Pia in September during my first national team call-up in a couple years, she shared with me that I actually wasn’t supposed to be invited into the camp until my Sky Blue F.C. teammate, Christie Rampone, had to back out because she is pregnant. Thanks Christie! But all along I’ve felt that what I really need is that opportunity, and for someone to invest in me and show me they believe in me. So each camp, it is my goal to secure myself one more opportunity … to be invited back to add to my experience and comfort level with the national team. So, to hear my name on the Algarve Cup roster, my fifth consecutive call-up, was a big deal to me — beyond just the honor of being selected.

I’m excited to go to Portugal. Not only is it someplace I’ve never been, but I’m enjoying being part of this group. I’ve always loved the fútbol, but getting to know the players and staff on the national team is valuable too. And maybe I’ll even pick up cap No. 4!

It’s funny, because as much as I seem to have this all put in perspective, I know that when I’m in Portugal and see the starting lineup and I’m not in it (which will likely be the case as a newer player), I will still feel that pang of disappointment. Although my aim is to get more opportunities and playing experience, my expectations seem to rise more quickly every camp. I guess that’s the feeling that allows me never to be satisfied. More to come from Portugal.

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